Red vs Blue: A FanFiction
by TeddyFireboltArmstrong
Summary: What happened to the RvB guys OUTSIDE of the Episilon Pod? Find out here!
1. Chapter 1

Red vs. Blue: A Fan-Fiction

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(Note: I'm expecting you have seen every season and know the guns, vehicles and maps from Halo)

Chapter 1: Caboose's Introductions

Hi everyone, my name is Michael J. Caboose. I am going to tell you story abou- "Tucker stop that! Get out of my story!" I said as the idiot Tucker distracted me. "Go away, this is my story. Go write your own. Church got his own intro. Go away! Great! Now I'm typing this"

"Fine! I'm going" Tucker yelled walking off. _Idiot_! I thought as he walked off, _So where was I_? I was about to start when "CABOOSE! GET YOU STUPID ASS OUT HERE!" Church screamed from outside the base. "I'll be right there!" I screamed back at my best friend. Yeah that's Church, my best friend, we are the Blues! And this is our base. That other guy is called Tucker. He is an annoying idiot that is annoying! There is another Team called the Reds but I won't "CABOOSE! GET OUT HERE, MAN! THE REDS ARE ATTACKING!" Yelled Washington

Yeah that's Wash, he's a freelancer. He was here to replace Church, when he went into the Epislion unit, but you should already know these things. Ok I'm going to check out what is "CABOOSE!" Wash and Church yelled together

I ran out to see all the Reds getting their asses handed to them by Tex, well all except Private McMuffin (or Donut) who was sitting over in the Warthog . I walked over to him "Tex?" I asked already knowing, Tex is a Freelancer as well.

"Yeah?' he answered back

"Why aren't you? " I asked

"Getting my ass kicked, I think she actually likes me." He laughed

"Yeah well girls never like Me, Private Biscuit"

"I like you, Caboose!"

I walked over to Wash and Church because Donut was going into specifics

"So uh what did you want?" I asked

"Well the Reds attacked and Tex retaliated" Church answered, I love it when he talks to me.

"Oh?" I asked "That's cool, Oh Church I baked you cookies!" I ran inside to get them before Church could answer.

Oh yeah I may have forgot to mention something. Tex and Church are A.I's who got deleted by a EMP but I saved Wash's AI, Epsilon, and he became the Church you see now. Epsilon-Church "split" and that created Epsilon-Tex. Tex got captured by the Meta and got put into a "capture unit" where she got trapped in, never to return. Church quickly went in to save her and didn't come out for what seemed like years. But yeah he's out now! So is Tex! Also Donut got killed and they brought Donut back as well. Church is a better person to ask for the details, he is so smart! And that's when I got knocked out by someone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Donut's Crazy Morning

I woke up with a short scream,

"Donut, what's wrong now?" Grif asked sleepily

"I just had a crazy dream!" I answered

"Ugh" Grif groaned back, "If it's another one of your dreams about Simmons and I, I don't want to know."

"No, it wasn't about that" I quickly said "Well it had you in it, but that's not the point."

"It never is." He retorted

"Don't you want to-"

"Fine, what was your stupid fucking dream about?" He cut me off

So I told him about the entire dream. That I was "in Caboose's head" and it played out "exactly like a video game".

"But, if you were dead how were you there?" Grif asked "Wait! do I even want to know...?"

"Nah Caboose didn't go into specific's." I answered "But it was weird I saw myself there and I was talking to me. Am I really that gay?" I asked as everyone on the team, who I thought were asleep (Even Lopez) replied "YES!"

"Well" I eventually said after awhile of talking about his dream "I guess I better go for my daily run" I quickly jumped up, made my bed, got changed into my running gear I styled and made myself, and went out for a run. I ran up and down the hills of our canyon when I heard a voice laughing from inside the caves.

"Oh No! The Cave Devil is back!" I said to myself and ran up to see if I was correct. _Yep, there's Doc_. A guy in purple armour was talking to what seemed to be himself in the middle of cave.

"Those foolish fools will never suspect us again" He said "Especially if they think I'm dead, those fools." His voice grew softer and a bit higher "But what if they do and they find out where the other fragments are?" He asked himself "They won't, we have me to help with that and if they do we will just kill them all and take over the universe Muwahahahaha!" The evil deep voice answered "But they have two freelancers now, what if.." The softer voice asked

"Oh No! I better tell Sarge and Church about this" I spoke aloud and quickly realised this was a mistake when BANG! Someone had hit me in the back off the head!

"Grrrr..." the voice growled

"Yes, yes, I know! We will have to wipe his memory again, this is the third time this week, The Chairman won't like it much, Meta" O'Malley/Doc stated

"Oh, I know! That's why I like it so much!" Agent Maine replied menacingly

And that's when I passed out...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A Lazy World

"Oi Grif!" I heard Sarge yell as I woke up from my refreshing sleep. I was invisible; there was no way he cou-"Grif, get out here! I can see you, dirtbag."

"Damn it!" I said to myself. I had always wished to have a invisi-nap but it was ne-"Grif, didn't you hear Sarge?" the kiss-ass, Simmons asked from outside

"I'm fucking coming, Jesus!" I screamed at them both as I walked slowly out to them "What do you want?"

"I need to know where Donut went."Sarge stated gruffly, like always.

"I thought I only needed to look out for Simmons" I quickly said "Donut is not my responsibility, but he went for his daily run."

And that's when we heard the scream as Donut got thrown towards us. "The cave devil. He's Back. A.I's. Meta" he kept muttering, passed out.

And that's when we saw the Blues coming over the hills toward us.

"Simmons Grif and I will attack them in the Wart-"Sarge was giving us our orders when he noticed "I don't think they are attacking... I think they are running from something."

And that's when the Meta and Doc appeared, chasing them.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Bow Chicka Wow RUN!

I was Tired. Dead tired. I needed sleep but I could sleep near Caboose since Epsi-Church got back. I shuddered at the memory. Well at least Wash was normal and he liked me. I think, you can't really tell with that guy. But anyways I'm getting a little sidetracked, I yawned and when outside for a walk when I heard some sounds coming from the caves. I walked over and listened in. From what I could make out, Doc had O'Malley again, Meta, who had all the A.I's, again, was back and they had captured Donut. Also there was a voice I couldn't recognize but I ignored it and went to wake up Church and Wash...

"I, I don't know what to say" Wash said "Meta has ALL of the A.I's, you say?"

"Yep, it's a good thing he doesn't have you and Tex, hey Church!" I replied

"So we are dealing with the two biggest forces that we have faced at once?" Church asked "Great, Just Fuckin' Perfect!"

"Wait, shouldn't Meta have O'Malley, not Doc?" I asked

"Maybe Meta doesn't want to have too many? Wash replied

"Or he thinks that Doc and O'Malley work well together, I don't know?" I suggested

"Who is the other voice you heard?" Church asked

"I think, nah it's stupid" I replied hesitantly

"What?" Wash asked interested

"Maybe they fixed Meta's voice, he replied to O'Malley as the Meta" I suggested

"I don't know" Wash and Church said together

We talked for awhile before we heard Caboose scream that The Meta was attacking...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Not a Motherfukin' Ghost but a Motherfuckin' A.I

"...'cause I'm a motherfuckin' Ghost" I said to Wash as I ran towards The Meta and entered his last A.I slot. I looked around. It was quite big in here and it looked a little like Caboose's mind. I noticed there was a group of people huddled around a collapsed person. It the rest of the A.I fragment and The Meta. I knew what I had to do and I had very little time. I ran over to them and shot and killed The Meta's mental image of himself, which would basically "fuck him up". I quickly walked over to Tex and pulled off my helmet as she pulled off hers. She had short blond hair and she was standing there so perfect when we kissed. I know sloppy but we had only a couple of seconds le- That's when a white light hit us all and then there was nothing.

I awoke with a jump and noticed I was in a lab with computer equipment everywhere. They were all hooked up to me. That's when I realized, I was the computer... "NOOOOO" I screamed noticing that my voice was computerized. Well all I have to do is wait someone is bound to come. No-one did. So instead I tried to remember what had happened and figure out how I was still alive. Wash had told me I was the A.I that was based on The Director or the Alpha. We decided to delete all the A.I's using the EMP so I went "into" the Meta to distract him. I shot, and killed (hopefully) ,his mental of himself and then it went off. I checked the Date; it had been a month since that happened. A lot can happen in a month. I wonder if I survived maybe they did too? I asked myself waiting, and wanting, for a reply

"Hello Alpha" I heard as the Chairman walked through the door "I've wanted to talk for awhile now. We have much to discuss."

"Just call me Church" I replied "I was expecting to see the Director or somebody"

"He was jailed for the torture he did to you" He said matter-of-factly

"I need- I want to speak to Was-Agent Washington" I demanded clearly

"I regret that won't be possible Alp-Church"

"Bullshit! I need to speak to him now"

"No! That won't be possible"

"Well at least let me talk to the other A.I's?" I asked

"You are the other A.I's, Alpha" he replied "We have put you back together."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: What happens when you Wash a Freelancer

We were dead meat. The Meta had all the A.I's. He bent us like plastic. Even with Tex and I we still got smashed. "HOW THE HELL DID HE GET THE A.I'S BACK?" I yelled at Church over the gunfire

"I DON'T KNOW, WASH?"He yelled back

"MAYBE HE RE-FUSED THEM ALL" Yelled Caboose, it was seriously the smartest thing he has said for awhile.

"YEAH, MAYBE"I replied, shooting at the Meta

"WE NEED TO RETREAT" Yelled Tex, who was trying to take on the Meta hand in hand

"OK" I yelled back "TO THE RED BASE"

Red base is about 100 meters straight ahead of us, over a few hills. Behind Red Base is a giant wall. Behind our base we have the ocean. There are cliffs to the sides and caves underneath them. So we all ran for it. Straight for Red Base, The was no stopping us. Tex, Tucker, Caboose, Church and I. Even our new tank, which Caboose called Shelia 2, came with us. We got about half way when we saw a Pink body fly right by our heads.

"HOLY SHIT, oh just Donut never mind" Church half screamed. After what seemed like forever we eventually got close to Red base, and that's when they started shooting at us.

"They think we are attacking them" stated Tucker, who seemed bored as if he was used to this

"No, I don't think they would do that." Caboose said innocently

"Uh Caboose, They are the Fucking Reds, That's kinda their job" Church explained

The Reds eventually stopped firing as we got to them

"The Meta is back, it has all the A.I's..." I cut off "Hey look, there's Doc, wonder why he is helping the Meta?" That's when I heard the Omega's laugh..."Oh..."

"Yeah, this is going to suck" Sarge stated

"We are all going to die" Simmons said

"Well at least we found Donut" Grif suggested

"I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking "Donut said sarcastically

"Shelia, Shoot the Meta" I told the tank as we all started shooting at him.

That was when both Church and Tex "dropped" their amour and turned transparent

"What are you two doing?" I asked already knowing

"Going to met all the other A.I's" Church stated and they "ran" into the Meta's last two A.I spots. That was when the Meta stopped and went crazy...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: A Split Mind is a Spilt Chapter

"I want to see Tex, then" I said to The Chairman, I had known she was an A.I as soon as I saw her in Meta's mind.

"That won't be" The Chairman paused "possible either as she's dead, Alpha. We couldn't retrieve her"

"WHAT!" I scream at him "She's dead? Again?" Tex had supposedly been killed in a Pelican crash.

"I'm afraid so"

"Well, fuck you; I'm not believing a word you say until I see proof"

She couldn't be dead, could she? No, she's Tex, tough as anything.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you to your thoughts" The Chairman stated "I'll be seeing you again shortly"

"You think he took it well?" I asked when the Chairman came in

"Nope, He will be in here as soon as he finds out how to move to a body again" He guessed "Tex, he loves you; you've got to know that"

"I do, but that's why I'm helping you do this" I told him calmly, lying straight to his face "I'm going to need a new body, I've got to help him, He has to be split, otherwise his too powerful"

"Ok, Tex" He said believing every word "I'll get you what you need"

The Chairman walked out, as I sighed to myself _Ugh, he is an idiot_ I thought to myself. I needed to get him out of that computer. Otherwise The Chairman will just hand him over to the Meta. If only there was a way to get into one of those empty robot bodies in the next room. _Maybe, if I. Nope didn't work. Great_ I thought as I tried. _I'm just going to have to wait until either Church comes in here to get me or The Chairman comes into to transfer me to a body, ugh. C'mon, Alison, think. Oh I know! _I knew what had to be done. I "jumped" out of the computer and into one of the bodies, via the Wi-Fi network. I couldn't believe they still used that instead of the new Fire-Fly network. _Stupid Cheap idiots_ I thought to myself as I got to Church's computer.

"Church, Are you in there?" I asked


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Caboose's Introducti-Wait I stuffed up my chapter already...

"CHURCH!" I screamed "WHERE ARE YOU?" He was my best friend; he told me what to do and how to think.

"Caboose, I'm sorry he's probably gone" Washington said as I realized this had happened before when Church had gone into the capture unit.

"Maybe he will meet Church in there?" I asked

"I doubt it" Tucker said "I think Church-Church is gone Caboose"

"I wonder..." Wash said as he walked over the Meta and hit him "Yeah I was right, he's locked up"

"Grrr.." The Meta growled "Fuck You Wash"

"WHAT?" Everyone yelled at the same time

"He can talk?" Simmons said

"Seems like it, dude" Grif said

That was when Church and Tex got back up randomly.

"Wow. Wait, is that you guys?" Church asked

"Church, did you lose your memory again?" Tucker asked

"No, I think this is Alpha" Wash said "is it?"

"Yeah that's me, I guess" Alpha-Church said "Hi Guys, how have you all been?"

So I explained what happened in the few months that he was gone. The others interrupted me all the time, which sucked. But I think he understood it all.

"I don't understand anything" Church said

"Basically, NOTHING HAPPENED! Like usual!" Tucker said

"Wait so did you meet the other Tex and Church in there then?" I asked

"Yes, but only for the last hour or so!" Church answered

"They were only inside for 5 minutes, dude!" Grif interrupted

"So what did actually happen to you, Church? Where have you been? Where are the other A.I's?" Wash asked

"Well-"Church started before I interrupted

"It's obvious, isn't it? He survived the EMP and so did the other A.I's, including Tex! The Chairman put all them together again, except Tex, and locked him into a computer. Tex tried to break him out when he Meta attacked and couldn't miss the chance to have nearly both the full AI's. So knowing we still had Epsilon he came back here" I said knowing I was spot on

They all gave a "No, That can't be right! It's Caboose! No!" when Church said "Yes Caboose, for once you were exactly right!"

Everybody looked at me in disbelief.

"Hey Guys, where did the Meta go? And where is Doc?" Donut asked, getting up

"I don't know..." Wash said "Why don't you tell us what happened inside the Meta, Church?"

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 9!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Maine's Attack

"Church, Are you in there?" She asked as I hummed to life

"Right here, Tex!" I answered

"Just jump, via the Wi-Fi network, into one of those robots over there" She said quickly, in a rush, and point towards the blank robot bodies.

"They aren't connected to the Fire-Fly Netw-"She cut me off, just by giving me her death stare "Ok, let's go, then!' That was when we heard a HUGE explosion from really close by...

I quickly jumped over to the bodies and got knocked out just as quickly...

I awoke in a world that immediately blew me away. I t was HUGE! It was kinda like Caboose's mind but it was empty, there was absolutely no-one in here. That was when I realized that I had already been here when-

"Hello Alpha" a really gruff voice said behind me

"Hello Michael" I replied to The Meta, turning around to face him

"No-one ever calls me that anymore" He said glaring at me, "Anyways Last time you were here, you killed me"

"Well I'm still not sorry, it was your fault anyways, you shouldn't have taken all of the fragments"

I noticed he had his helmet off. He had short brown hair and a handsome face. I was shocked to see he was, well normal. He didn't have any scars around his neck, which, as this was his world and could control it, he probably covered them up.

"You know, it was Sigma's idea, right?" He asked, trying to get some sympathy

"Sure, Mike, Sure!" I said, sitting down waiting for Tex

I didn't have to wait long, only a couple of days, which would have only taken minutes on the outside. That means we might be stuck in here for years, which would obviously suck. But there she was, only thing was The Meta trapped her in a room where only he had a key. I definitely couldn't take him on the outside, let alone in here. So I had to wait. The Meta let me talk to Tex now and again, but only through a window, and over the phone, never face to face. That's how it when for a year or two. You couldn't tell in here, but my clock on my amour said it had only been 3 Days on the outside. So I came to the conclusion that I was trapped in here forever...

CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 10!


End file.
